All done with the nothing


Tonight’s drink: Filibuster – rye whisky, lemon juice, maple syrup, egg white, black walnut bitters. It’s basically a whisky sour but with maple syrup instead of simple syrup. I subbed black walnut bitters for Angostura because I wanted something a bit drier.




Wednesday: 45rpm shirt, Yohji pants.


Thursday: Everlane sweater (over Everlane long sleeve), Rachel Comey pants. friday

Friday: Banana Republic top (J Crew tee underneath), Grana jeans.

Every day this week I’ve worn Girlfriend Collective leggings underneath all pants/jeans. It’s been cold.

Late Wednesday the Comptroller for the company asked me: “So, do you have the Business Development Budget 2017 form filled out? Um… the what what? So after some digging around looking for a file he told me to dig up on the network drive, there it is – the budget – that hasn’t been updated since July….





Yeah, so that’s not done. I had no clue I even needed to update it and apparently neither did the last two people who held this position before me! YAY, guess who gets the fucking annoying task of updating it all now when I have zero time to do my regular work to begin with because it’s the beginning of the month? Ugh. It’s ok. He’s giving me time to work on it, but I swear this has become the status quo lately. I finds out about x,y, and z things that apparently fall under my duties but NO ONE informed me of so I could keep track of it and build it into my schedule to work on. *head*desk* I’ve been trying to get it done, but of course several other larger and more pressing things needed to be done ASAP so it’s now getting bumped to next week. Depending on how Monday looks with my client reports I might be able to knock it out soon or I might be working some late nights.

So in other news… it’s February. *blink*

January flew by and was so busy I didn’t have much time to think of spending, but here’s some numbers:

Discretionary spending this month: $36.75 (1 affogato – $6.75 and two special event movie tickets for Mary and the Witch’s Flower- $30.00)

Unexpected charges that should generally be put into my budgeting, but I never think of until they happen: $31.79 – oil for oil change in my car (my husband actually does the oil change himself) and vet hospital: $125.44 – wet and dry prescription cat food (expensive little buggers!).

That’s it. All other shopping was groceries for meals we ate, which was $285. I buy groceries half the month and Z buys for the other half. We both alternate the smaller grocery runs for little pick up items after the two large grocery orders. I was thinking I’d be ok to buy a few things by February, but now I honestly can’t think of anything I need or want so I’ll wait and maybe see if I can get through February without spending much either. I’m curious what my expenses and credit card statement would look like after another month of very lean spending.

Z and I both lamented the horrible, busy week we’ve both had at our respective jobs. Hence my need for a cocktail and he immediately grabbed his favorite beer when we got home.  He told me throughout the day at his work, a video was constantly being played to cheer people up. This is an oldie and a total ear worm. You have been warned! If you don’t want ear worm do not watch I’m a Kitty Cat. (Or enjoy your ear worm and smile a lot.)



Everlane sweater, Yohji Yamamoto pants.
Everlane tee, Limi Feu sweater, Grana jeans.
Uniqlo flannel, Land’s End cardigan, Grana jeans.

This has been a week.

Wednesday was my 3 month review with my boss and we officially discussed my changing roles. Basically, his department is severely understaffed and he’s been nudging me (ok, more like throwing me in the deep end of a pool, which he finally admit to) to move into it as customer service support. To his credit, he asked me what I was interested in doing and was willing to listen to me. If I didn’t want it, he wouldn’t push any more and go hire someone. He’s totally fine with my staying in the admin role and only helping him out with one client. However, I do have a long history of customer service in my resume and know what he’s setting me up for. The only major hurdle for me is understanding the software program so I can get the answers I need in a more timely manner. I also knew going into this new role would mean a rather large pay raise. I admit I was much more interested in a different area of the company, however, I also recognize how much the company needed a customer service role right now and although it’s not my favorite area, I can do it.

We discussed my transition period and my receiving dedicated training and take on more clients – until we find my replacement for the admin role. After that I will go full time (I think the title would be Customer Liaison, but I’m not sure) into my new role and handle more accounts.

After that meeting I had some time to do work and we had another meeting with the client I’ve been working with over the past month.

Thursday I had a meeting with our marketing company. The woman I took over for in the admin role is on maternity leave, but her coming back now is a 50/50 coin toss as far as I’m concerned so I’m preparing myself for having to take over marketing as well for the time being. I spent the rest of the day Thursday looking through the software program and asking everyone in engineering about operations.

Today I was a little busy this morning but by noon I didn’t have much to do and the general stress of the week finally let go and suddenly was so drowsy I couldn’t stop yawning and had a terrible time staying awake.

I’ve been full on exhausted all week. I don’t sleep well during the work week because I have sleep anxiety. I must be in bed by a certain time because my mind then does a count down of how much time I have left before the alarm goes off and it sets a mini panic mode in me. So sleep during the week is generally bad and then I crash on Friday and Saturday nights. The added stress of having my review and knowing I’m transitioning into a role with many more responsibilities over the next couple months has wreaked havoc on me mentally. It’s not a bad thing, but more like stressful excitability.

I’m one of those people who always look for the end game and I’ve already been looking at the logistics of what the major problems areas are in the company that pertain to my role and how I can overcome them. To a degree, this may mean trying to work around/over someone who has been in the company for a very long time because to be frank about it: he’s fucking shit at his job and his duties are crucial to many areas of the company as a whole. Everyone complains about this guy and he’s been moved from one role to another just to get him out of the way and put him in an area where he’s the least destructive. Why not fire him? Well…. that’s a whole can of worms I can’t get into but let’s just say certain people are bound by familial connections and those connections demand this asshole be take care of.

Aside from this annoyingly huge obstacle, most everyone else I’ve worked with and will be working more closely with in the company has been beyond amazing. This is the most corporate company I’ve ever worked for and I wasn’t expecting much, but I’ve been bowled over by the amount of help and support I’ve received. It’s truly awe-inspiring that so many people will stop to answer my questions and never complain nor chide me or tell me to go get the answer elsewhere. I’ve never been in a work environment where everyone truly supports each other so much. I hate to use the term family because I’ve always found that to be cliche and ridiculous since not many people really talk to each other outside of work, but while in the office, there is a close-knit togetherness that is truly endearing.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I work for a medical component manufacturing company. The components we make are used in surgery for spine and joint support/correction. I mostly work in the office, but there is a factory connected to the business office and every employee is required to wear PPE (personal protective equipment): safety glasses and non-slip shoes. I have a pair of non-slip clogs I put on occasionally when I need to hand out paperwork to the people on the shop floor or find out a status of part production. I do take off my boot for the times I go out on the floor, but in general I hand off stuff to other people I know will go out there. Many of them don’t mind at all and know I’m trying to stay off my leg while I’m wearing the boot.

As my new role progresses, I might end up sharing office space with people on the shop floor since that’s where I need to find out the most information for the clients.

Failed test

Monday: Yohji shirt, company vest, Everlane pants.

I’m sure many can relate to this: A new idea comes to mind and there’s lots of excitement to make it happen, but when the reality of it comes to fruition the results being a disappointment feel like an understatement.

First of all, I’m not sure what to make of my basement set up right now for photos. I’m using the photo light I bought again and while it’s definitely bright enough, I still feel the photos are lacking severely.

Secondly, the above outfit didn’t look half as good as it did in my head. I wanted to try out a mini project this week where I wear a variety of tops with the Everlane E2 Pant. After browsing Kick Pleat and ogling all the pretty photos on Death by Elocution I thought my problem was not mixing around my clothes enough and I wanted to experiment more with different silhouettes. Well, what will I know works with those pants if I don’t take several photos of them with different tops? So the idea was to wear these pants all week long with different tops in an effort to figure out what really works. Monday’s photo doesn’t really seem to work at all – not even for a solid black outfit. I was so cold I ended up throwing on my company vest to keep me warm all day so I figured I’d take a photo with that too.


Today: Everlane mock neck shirt, Limi Feu sweater, Everlane pants.

I really don’t think the lighting is doing this outfit justice at all. I felt much more put together wearing this. Also, the half-tucking the sweater I felt helped the look. I was much warmer today like this. Note to self: work on posture in photos. I look hunched over but I’m really not. This photo really isn’t doing this outfit justice at all. Or maybe the outfit isn’t nearly as great as I feel in it.

I’ve been eyeing up a lot of stuff on COS lately, which seems to be another version of Everlane, but with better colors and more styles to choose from. I know they are owned by H&M, which then raises the question: how sustainable/ethical of a company are they? Is the quality really that much better since their price points almost match Everlane exactly? Or is it just about the same? I’ve read reports that there are sizing issues with their catalog in the same vein as Everlane. I was surprised to see that I’d be more of a size 6 with COS when I looked at their charts. I do like the look of the clothes better on COS, but I’m wondering if this is just settling for another version of Everlane that may be plagued with the exact same issues of weird sizing and quality that seems great, but ends up being a bigger disappointment down the line. Does anyone have any experience with them?

Also, who exactly is the person behind Death by Elocution? Is she a model? Is she a photographer? Is she a millionaire or a trust fund baby who can afford all those gorgeous clothes all the time? I love the feed, but it had me wondering just how the heck she obtains all those items. It’s also highly frustrating that she doesn’t list what the clothes are. I get that she doesn’t have to because it’s her blog to do with as she pleases, but sometimes I really want to know what a product is she’s wearing. Ok, like 90% of the time I want to know. I started looking at COS because I saw a sweater she posted from there and you could see the tag on it. But I can’t make out the tags in many other photos she posts.



Snow day

The alarm went off and instead of snoozing I knew I’d either have to scrape a little snow off my car (might as well get up now so I have time to do it) or I’d get to go back to sleep. I walked downstairs to get a street view. Nope. Not happening. It was so dark out with so much snow blowing it looked like it was still 3 am out there. I crawled back into bed with my phone and no sooner than I pulled up my boss’s contact info, I got a text from him not to bother coming in today. Back to sleep for another two hours. Bliss.

Got up again. Z was already awake and fed the cats. He’s working from home today and able to catch up on a lot of work. He said today would be a good day to play Zelda, but he’s better off doing what work he can at home. His new job inundates him every single day and he needs help getting it all done. Peace and quiet at home for him to get things organized will greatly help. I make a hot breakfast and play Animal Crossing Pocket Camp.

snow day

Candles lit, heat blasting, mugs of hot tea, my wool blanket and video games. That is the extent of today’s agenda. I’ve heard the plows go by 5 times already. The wind is so strong now it blows all the snow back onto the the street in minutes. We were only supposed to get 4 or 5 inches of snow max, but it seems like we may get more. Note to self: double layer clothing tomorrow – it’ll be annoyingly cold.


Tuesday: Everlane black long sleeve, Limi Feu sweater (gift from Z for xmas), Yohji pants. I put up different curtains before the holidays and while they’ve given the living room a nice color lift, they’re not doing my outfit photos any favors. I may have to find a different area of the house to do them until the daylight savings changes and I get more natural light again. wednesday

Wednesday: Banana Republic button down and grey cashmere sweater (gift from mom for xmas), Rachel Comey Lure Pant.

The Limi Feu sweater, BR sweater and RC pants are all new and (aside from one item currently on it’s way) the last items I bought in 2017. I don’t plan on buying any clothes for quite a while. I don’t really plan on buying much of anything for a long time.

I was shocked when I got the Limi Feu sweater, considering how expensive it was. I have some used designer clothes on my Amazon wishlist – I found through Japanese discounters – they aren’t on Amazon. I put them there for my reference more than anything else. The sweater is wool and linen and kept me quite warm on Tuesday when I was back in a freezing cold office. The heat was off over the holidays. The BR sweater is also very warm, but the V on it is so low my neck and chest were getting cold! The RC Lure Pant was a gift to myself. They went on sale, twice, and I jumped at the second time the price lowered. They are very high waisted (almost at my bra when I sit down) and low crotched and baggy and extremely comfortable. They look like worker pants in a way and I want to pair them now with my 45rpm clothes. They are very long as well, but I prefer the dorky look of cuffing them up high versus getting them hemmed. I’ll be wearing them a lot this winter along with the Sacai pants.

Upping my workout routine and tracking my reps again with what few exercises I can do while in the boot. My pull-ups are atrocious so I’m focusing on doing more of those. Started on December 30th and when January 1st rolled around my arms were cursing me, but I forced myself to work out. Now my core muscles are cranky with me. I need to look up some more stretching exercises to do post work out.


Exhaustion and Star Wars

This week I’ve felt like sleep is something other people do and I only have the scant privilege of experiencing on occasion.


Tuesday: Everlane sweater and Sacai Luck pants.


Wednesday: Banana Republic top and Yohji Yamamoto pants.


Thursday: Everlane top and Brass Clothing pants.


Fri-yay: J Crew top and Grana jeans while drinking my favorite cocktail.

First and foremost, the cocktail in today’s photo:

Blackout Manhattan: 1 oz Rye, 1 oz Pims, 1 oz Averna – dashes of orange and walnut bitters with a dirty cherry.

I’ve made many variations of this drink. Today I used my husband’s bourbon because I’m out of Rye whisky. The “dirty cherry” is just a Bada Bing cherry, which you can get in a jar from the grocery store. It’s not one of those disgusting Maraschino cherries that taste like plastic. These are real cherries brined in syrup. Orange bitters are easy to find at most liquor stores and even some grocery stores, walnut bitters can easily be found on Amazon, which is where I got mine.

Also, I want to note that two blogs I follow had amazing posts this week:

Work from Home Wardrobe – Navel gazes and I found myself nodding: It’s as issue that aging women all deal with but rarely talk about. I want to hear from more women about this. This also had me thinking: what the hell does “aging gracefully” even mean? Discuss.

Dr It Girl  – The misogyny of minimalism – I was fist pumping about this. It’s SO TRUE.

This week I’ve feel pulled in twenty different directions. Finish shopping for the holidays, get house prepped for 2 weeks of guests, social engagements, work being… WORK and then some…

Wednesday night after dinner I was driving around to stores for a few things thinking the crowds wouldn’t be bad. Wow was I wrong. Anyway, I was standing in line at Macy’s to get a few gifts and a couple near me were also buying gifts and the woman asked if I found really soft PJs because she saw me looking in the same stacks they were. Then she and her husband were trying to figure out if they bought enough just to use a 15% off coupon and realized they didn’t so she got upset and said that holiday shopping was nothing but a racket to make people buy more junk. I smiled at that and enjoyed their bantering on the subject. She was overjoyed one minute at finding a nice present for her daughter but then cursing holiday shopping the next minute. Holiday shopping really brings out extremes in people.

Last night the hubs and I met up with a group of friends to go see Star Wars. Non-spoiler-very-generic-review: it was good, but I felt it didn’t throw the emotional punches it could have to make it great. The dialogue had me wondering if they got Lucas to write parts of it (that’s a sarcastic way of saying it felt very stilted). There was a lot of comedy in it as well that felt a little out of place – like it was trying to be a Marvel movie. In general I did enjoy it a lot and was glad I got to see it opening night. I know there are lots of people who hate movie crowds and such, but some movies really are better when you experience them with a large crowd of like-minded fans who all “AHHHHHH” and “Awwwww” and gasp and cheer at the same time. Mark Hamil does a lot of voice-over work and is famously known for his Joker voice he’s done for the Batman cartoon series for so long ( and all the video games – Arkham Asylum, etc..) so when I first heard him on screen all I could think is: the Joker is a Jedi! It took me a while to adjust and hear him as Luke Skywalker instead of waiting for a cackling laugh a la Joker style.