Ninja Sprocket


It’s almost cold again today. I was glad I could wear my YY turtleneck again. This was one of those perfect outfit days. I was comfortable and not thinking about what I was wearing. These YY pants  and top have been two of the best purchases I’ve ever made. I always want to put them on.

I got my hair cut last night and the stylist did a great job. She really listened to what I wanted and even stopped to show me what she was doing and ask if I wanted anything changed. I was impressed. There’s a ridiculous amount of salons in this area and most of them are crap to mediocre. I may have finally found one I like.

Apparently my haircut and outfit really caught peoples’ attention at work.
Shop supervisor: Whoa, what’s with the ninja look?
Me: Ninja?
Him: You’re all in black!
Me: I almost always wear black.
Him: …. Actually now that you mention it, yeah you do, but you still look like a ninja today.

Later on my boss noticed.
Boss: Look at you! All decked out and with a new haircut. What’s up, Sprocket!
Me: Sprocket?
Boss: Yeah, from the SNL skit? You ever see the sprocket one?

He then showed me a video on his phone of the SNL skit with several guys with very short hair all dressed in black turtlenecks and black pants dancing while singing something about sprockets. He continued to call me Sprocket for the rest of the day.

The rest of the day was busy with new client work. We are late on their orders (of course!) so I had to send out an email to all the departments about wanting regular updates on the product lots. I knew the calm I’d been feeling in the office lately wasn’t quite right. I’ve been waiting for the next earthquake to shake me into action again and of course it’s here now with a new client and late work.

Z bought a VR headset, Odyssey by Samsung. It’s funny watching him walk around the room with the headset on and controllers in his hands, moving awkwardly. I did the same thing too when he let me wear it for a little bit. He got the updated Skyrim game that’s made for VR. That game was already gorgeous and now feeling inside the game itself gives it a whole new level of awesomeness.

Dressing Normie


I wouldn’t say I dress too far out there, but I do very much skew masculine and have worn many weird proportions. Today (the photo directly above), however, made me feel like a normie, aka normal office person. I grabbed one of the company pullovers from the stock room yesterday before leaving work (covering up logo in photo). It’s a large so it is a bit big, but I’m ok with that. I think a lot of it had to do with the pants as well, which are from Uniqlo. They are meant to be office pants and super basic, which is fine. I wore an office shirt today because execs from my main client were visiting our facility. My whole morning was spent hanging out with them and giving them a tour of the building with my boss. I was very conscious the whole day of feeling like an employee while wearing this outfit and half expecting to hear someone whispering “one of ussssss”. This just made me want to run home and change all the more. I know it’s ridiculous and all in my head. I thought it would be funny to share this feeling of wearing a fake skin.

The client meeting went well, which surprised me. The operations director, who is the boss of my main contact, never gave me the impression he was an easy person to deal with based on email exchanges. I was a bit nervous and prepared to hear a bit of shaming on our part for the whole slew of late orders last month. However, that didn’t happen. In fact, he praised me quite a bit and said my constant communication really helped them know we were doing our best despite the problems we encountered. As we toured the facility we showed them the assembly section and had none of their parts there because we shipped them all out yesterday. I told him a certain product they needed was in that shipment and he high-fived me very happy about the early delivery.

The clients left and my boss took us out to lunch. Afterwards, I was right back at it in a meeting regarding a new issue on a different product from the same client. I was hoping for an easy afternoon, but this was a blatant reminder of how I’ll need to up my game with my new role.

I get my admin on Monday! Finally! And while I was riding high on the thought of having someone take care of all those little admin things I was thrown a curve ball from my boss about taking on another client account, which I thought I was going to squeak by. This new one is in fact a new “old” client who came back to us and is being super nit-picky about a whole slew of things for their current orders about to be shipped out. *head*desk* It clearly never ends….

I know this whole post is just about work, but today was a bit of a Big Day so to speak. I have a hair appointment after dinner, which I’m hoping will go well. I’m trying yet another salon because I haven’t found one that really gets me yet. Also, I may have bought a custom sized shirt from Rosen and may plan on having a suit customized from them next month because I’ll be dragged to more conferences and so I may as well brace myself now for it. Also, I don’t want to go as a normie to these events. I want to go as ME.




Today during lunch I sat outside with coworkers at the picnic table on the front lawn. I was sitting in the sun and moved to be in the shade after I ate. I could feel the back of my neck burning and my shoulders were starting to turn red. A coworker said that’s what I get for dressing like Cat Woman on a 90 degree day. It cracked me up she used that as a reference for my all black outfit. I was actually comfortable because this outfit is very light weight, but I could tell I would burn if I stayed in the direct sunlight for too long.

I left work early to go see the specialist about my ankle. He said my tendon seems in great shape and prescribed PT for 6 weeks. If my ankle wasn’t better after that, then he’d prescribe an MRI to see what’s going on. I’ve already scheduled my first appointment for next week since they were booked this week. My calf muscle is very tight from being in the boot for so long and he believes doing more stretching and strengthening will help my tendon.

I really want to be able to run again.

Waiting for storms


Outfits from last Friday and today. I really like wearing the linen shirt with my YY pants. I feel very comfortable in this outfit, even though it doesn’t look very professional.

I am very disappointed in my Lems shoes though. I think I’ve maybe had them for a  year and the leather is peeling a bit on them. Maybe it’s not real leather or just a leather covering? I don’t know. I just know I’m pissed off at how expensive they were and they are peeling after barely a year. My stint with barefoot style shoes may be coming to an end because I was even disappointed in the more fancy style shoe Vivobarefoot came out with that’s “office friendly”. I tried them on and immediately knew they wouldn’t work out and am waiting for my refund on them.

However, I still can’t wear normal shoes either due to my ankle, which has been a major issue of concern and depression for me. I have an appointment tomorrow with another specialist. Let’s hope this guy isn’t a fucking idiot like the last one one and can give me some real answers. I’m also demanding an MRI because I don’t trust any doctor right now and want to see for myself what’s going on.

It’s going to be 90F tomorrow with a chance of thunderstorms. I’m gutted that the weather is going straight from winter to summer. I’m gutted about a lot of things lately and am considering medication. A lot of that may depend on how my meeting with the doctor goes tomorrow.

In other news: we found an admin. She doesn’t have a start date just yet, but I think she’ll work out ok. I hope she does anyway. Luckily, things are slow at work right now – mostly because my client accounts are under control (finally). I was also thrown a curve ball when my boss said he wanted me to attend some conferences coming up. I know it’s going to be part of my job to do this (eventually) but I really wasn’t expecting it so soon. I DON’T WANNA GO! Ugh.  This means I need to up my wardrobe game because conferences mean suits and such. I’d rather wear a suit than a dress because I don’t like dresses in general.

Coincidentally, Rosen came out with some new clothes and one of them is a linen suit that looks gorgeous.


I’m in love with it. And how freaking gorgeous is this double placket linen shirt….



Comfort colors


First of all, I hug all of you (figuratively) who responded to my last post. I was so emotional – and still am and will be for quite some time – that I was certain no one would respond and I was even ok with that. I just needed to get it out and although I don’t think I’ll relate the entire situation here until it’s all over, which may take anywhere from another year to two years, I’ll just say that it’s nice to know people still read this blog despite my super manic mood swings and how I negative I am right now. I still wake up angry every morning because of what happened. It’s the first thing on my mind each day. We’ve already been dealing with this for 8 years in total thus far. I almost lost it in front of my boss on Monday because he had been away all last week and wanted to know what was going on. I know my parents would say not to give in to the bitterness, but sometimes the bitterness and the anger are the only things to keep one sharp and focused and willing ones’ self on. That’s pretty much where I’m at right now.

I’ve also realized my ankle is still messed up, which isn’t good. I’ve got an appointment with an orthopedic specialist next week. I honestly don’t have high hopes after the last regard specialist I talked to but we’ll see. After spending the entire winter in a boot, this has also been weighing on me emotionally. I want to get back to running again but I can’t.

Yesterday I wore color. Blue and and green colors together, which I think are ok to wear together but I feel “off” because I wasn’t wearing black. More often than not, as long as I have something black on I feel ok. I feel safe in black and not wearing it makes me almost feel like an imposter of sorts – if that makes any sense. I wear a lot of black in general so when I do wear outfits without it, I almost feel like I’m lacking something or like I’m not wearing what’s me.

Today I wore a black shirt and my linen jacket for almost the entire day. My boss had a hey-day talking about my jacket. He said, “Is this a Japanese style or ….” yeah, he’s that guy. Very eye-roll worthy in his comments, but he wasn’t trying to pick a fight with me. He was more entranced by the washed out look of my linen jacket. I told him it was from a Japanese designer (Journal Standard) but it was just a plain linen jacket. I did flat out ask if he was making fun of me and he said no, he was just curious. He mentioned the jacket a few times throughout the day so maybe something about my outfit struck his fancy – or not – I can never tell with him. He’s the type who could be totally raging under a smiling face. I think I confuse him with my style. I’m the hyper masculine type of woman who looks more man-ish with my wardrobe than any other woman in the whole building. He has been known to make comments about my outfits, but not in a bad way. It’s more like he’s curious in how I dress the way I do. In any case, I felt much more comfortable today, despite my boss repeatedly talking about my jacket.

Tomorrow, our department (all 3 of us!) are going out for Greek food for lunch. There have been a lot of changes in the company over the past couple of months and our department is finally starting to get itself together again. We even had a good interview for an admin yesterday. My boss is already planning where my new desk will be situated.  In some ways, despite all the shit I’ve been going through lately, it’s nice to see that someone is excited for me to help them move things along.