All done with the nothing


Tonight’s drink: Filibuster – rye whisky, lemon juice, maple syrup, egg white, black walnut bitters. It’s basically a whisky sour but with maple syrup instead of simple syrup. I subbed black walnut bitters for Angostura because I wanted something a bit drier.




Wednesday: 45rpm shirt, Yohji pants.


Thursday: Everlane sweater (over Everlane long sleeve), Rachel Comey pants. friday

Friday: Banana Republic top (J Crew tee underneath), Grana jeans.

Every day this week I’ve worn Girlfriend Collective leggings underneath all pants/jeans. It’s been cold.

Late Wednesday the Comptroller for the company asked me: “So, do you have the Business Development Budget 2017 form filled out? Um… the what what? So after some digging around looking for a file he told me to dig up on the network drive, there it is – the budget – that hasn’t been updated since July….





Yeah, so that’s not done. I had no clue I even needed to update it and apparently neither did the last two people who held this position before me! YAY, guess who gets the fucking annoying task of updating it all now when I have zero time to do my regular work to begin with because it’s the beginning of the month? Ugh. It’s ok. He’s giving me time to work on it, but I swear this has become the status quo lately. I finds out about x,y, and z things that apparently fall under my duties but NO ONE informed me of so I could keep track of it and build it into my schedule to work on. *head*desk* I’ve been trying to get it done, but of course several other larger and more pressing things needed to be done ASAP so it’s now getting bumped to next week. Depending on how Monday looks with my client reports I might be able to knock it out soon or I might be working some late nights.

So in other news… it’s February. *blink*

January flew by and was so busy I didn’t have much time to think of spending, but here’s some numbers:

Discretionary spending this month: $36.75 (1 affogato – $6.75 and two special event movie tickets for Mary and the Witch’s Flower- $30.00)

Unexpected charges that should generally be put into my budgeting, but I never think of until they happen: $31.79 – oil for oil change in my car (my husband actually does the oil change himself) and vet hospital: $125.44 – wet and dry prescription cat food (expensive little buggers!).

That’s it. All other shopping was groceries for meals we ate, which was $285. I buy groceries half the month and Z buys for the other half. We both alternate the smaller grocery runs for little pick up items after the two large grocery orders. I was thinking I’d be ok to buy a few things by February, but now I honestly can’t think of anything I need or want so I’ll wait and maybe see if I can get through February without spending much either. I’m curious what my expenses and credit card statement would look like after another month of very lean spending.

Z and I both lamented the horrible, busy week we’ve both had at our respective jobs. Hence my need for a cocktail and he immediately grabbed his favorite beer when we got home.  He told me throughout the day at his work, a video was constantly being played to cheer people up. This is an oldie and a total ear worm. You have been warned! If you don’t want ear worm do not watch I’m a Kitty Cat. (Or enjoy your ear worm and smile a lot.)



You know that sound Charlie Brown makes, when he tries to kick the football and Lucy steals it away at the last second? He lets out a yell and you can tell it’s a mixture of frustration at what happened, but also knowing it was going to happen anyway? That’s been my week thus far. And it’s only Tuesday!


Sweater from Yesstyle, Grana jeans.

Boring outfit is boring – in photo. My boss actually complimented me on it and was shocked I was wearing jeans. I wondered what rock he’d been under.

I completely forgot to take my outfit photo yesterday. I’m still stressing out a little over the changes happening at work and yesterday I got home and immediately changed into workout clothes without thinking. I was halfway done with my workout when I remembered.

I’ve been having a lot of those, “wait…..what?” moments. This whole month I’ve been good about not spending any money (just a couple movie tickets and an affogato) and I kept saying to myself: Ok, don’t spend until February. Then I’ll look at my credit card balance and check if my predictions for discretionary spending were on target so I can set up a proper budget for shopping. And before I knew it, it’s almost February and I’ve not had two minutes to really think about spending because I’ve been so busy. Plus, I’ll need to reassess my expenses again because this month saw me being offered a 20% raise and new position. Wait… what?

I’ve been a nervous wreck the past week and a half because I knew this was coming. It’s not as if I wasn’t prepared for it, but A) this is a whole new set of responsibilities that I really need to step up my game for and B) my new numbers would affect my choice of benefits program now that I’m eligible and the deadline is February 1st – hurry the hell up, where is my paperwork, BOSS!? (No worries now, got it taken care of – finally.) My biggest worry currently is being properly trained. When I first started working for this company, I had someone sit with me and teach me everything. Now, I’m having to scramble and search for the information myself. I do have plenty of help from some people, but the main ones who could train me best are the busiest and already being pulled in 20 different directions. I’m trying to do what I can with what resources I know I have right now, but it’s still very piecemeal.

One of the directors told me she’s really glad I’m doing so well and I’m very much needed there. She said I’m a “go-getter” and I corrected her. I’m not a go-getter at all. There’s nothing I want to go get at the company and if it came down to that, I’d probably fail. However, I have a good work ethic and sense of responsibility. If I’m going to be paid well to do a job, I need to make sure I’m proving that it was worthwhile to put me in that position. That is what I’m afraid of most – not being able to prove that I’m worth what I’m being paid to do. I’ve worked at plenty of places where I’ve been severely underpaid and know that I should demand more for what I’m doing. Now, I’m in the opposite position of being given a lot more than I was expecting and it’s making me panic, wondering how I’ll get the information I need to do the job well. My new position is very similar to other ones I’ve done in the past. It’s essentially customer service work. However, before I was mostly working in retail. Now I’m working for a corporation where the “customer” is another company and losing one of them could mean losing tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars instead of just a couple hundred or a couple thousand. I understand that the amount of money I’m being paid correlates to the amount of responsibility I have to keep these customers happy because of how much they are spending with our company. But it’s all still very new to me and I think my little freak outs lately are keeping me centered and anxious to do as much as I can as quickly as I can.

I don’t even know if what I just wrote makes sense, but it’s cathartic to write it out. Z just asked if I want to play more Zelda and my attention span and focus for this post just disintegrated. When do I want to play Zelda? ALWAYS.



Everlane sweater, Yohji Yamamoto pants.
Everlane tee, Limi Feu sweater, Grana jeans.
Uniqlo flannel, Land’s End cardigan, Grana jeans.

This has been a week.

Wednesday was my 3 month review with my boss and we officially discussed my changing roles. Basically, his department is severely understaffed and he’s been nudging me (ok, more like throwing me in the deep end of a pool, which he finally admit to) to move into it as customer service support. To his credit, he asked me what I was interested in doing and was willing to listen to me. If I didn’t want it, he wouldn’t push any more and go hire someone. He’s totally fine with my staying in the admin role and only helping him out with one client. However, I do have a long history of customer service in my resume and know what he’s setting me up for. The only major hurdle for me is understanding the software program so I can get the answers I need in a more timely manner. I also knew going into this new role would mean a rather large pay raise. I admit I was much more interested in a different area of the company, however, I also recognize how much the company needed a customer service role right now and although it’s not my favorite area, I can do it.

We discussed my transition period and my receiving dedicated training and take on more clients – until we find my replacement for the admin role. After that I will go full time (I think the title would be Customer Liaison, but I’m not sure) into my new role and handle more accounts.

After that meeting I had some time to do work and we had another meeting with the client I’ve been working with over the past month.

Thursday I had a meeting with our marketing company. The woman I took over for in the admin role is on maternity leave, but her coming back now is a 50/50 coin toss as far as I’m concerned so I’m preparing myself for having to take over marketing as well for the time being. I spent the rest of the day Thursday looking through the software program and asking everyone in engineering about operations.

Today I was a little busy this morning but by noon I didn’t have much to do and the general stress of the week finally let go and suddenly was so drowsy I couldn’t stop yawning and had a terrible time staying awake.

I’ve been full on exhausted all week. I don’t sleep well during the work week because I have sleep anxiety. I must be in bed by a certain time because my mind then does a count down of how much time I have left before the alarm goes off and it sets a mini panic mode in me. So sleep during the week is generally bad and then I crash on Friday and Saturday nights. The added stress of having my review and knowing I’m transitioning into a role with many more responsibilities over the next couple months has wreaked havoc on me mentally. It’s not a bad thing, but more like stressful excitability.

I’m one of those people who always look for the end game and I’ve already been looking at the logistics of what the major problems areas are in the company that pertain to my role and how I can overcome them. To a degree, this may mean trying to work around/over someone who has been in the company for a very long time because to be frank about it: he’s fucking shit at his job and his duties are crucial to many areas of the company as a whole. Everyone complains about this guy and he’s been moved from one role to another just to get him out of the way and put him in an area where he’s the least destructive. Why not fire him? Well…. that’s a whole can of worms I can’t get into but let’s just say certain people are bound by familial connections and those connections demand this asshole be take care of.

Aside from this annoyingly huge obstacle, most everyone else I’ve worked with and will be working more closely with in the company has been beyond amazing. This is the most corporate company I’ve ever worked for and I wasn’t expecting much, but I’ve been bowled over by the amount of help and support I’ve received. It’s truly awe-inspiring that so many people will stop to answer my questions and never complain nor chide me or tell me to go get the answer elsewhere. I’ve never been in a work environment where everyone truly supports each other so much. I hate to use the term family because I’ve always found that to be cliche and ridiculous since not many people really talk to each other outside of work, but while in the office, there is a close-knit togetherness that is truly endearing.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I work for a medical component manufacturing company. The components we make are used in surgery for spine and joint support/correction. I mostly work in the office, but there is a factory connected to the business office and every employee is required to wear PPE (personal protective equipment): safety glasses and non-slip shoes. I have a pair of non-slip clogs I put on occasionally when I need to hand out paperwork to the people on the shop floor or find out a status of part production. I do take off my boot for the times I go out on the floor, but in general I hand off stuff to other people I know will go out there. Many of them don’t mind at all and know I’m trying to stay off my leg while I’m wearing the boot.

As my new role progresses, I might end up sharing office space with people on the shop floor since that’s where I need to find out the most information for the clients.

Car & still making an effort

So let’s get this out of the way. New car. There it is. It has 4 exhaust levels, meaning you can adjust how loud it is. Z usually keeps it in quiet mode while in the neighborhood because no one likes that neighbor with the obnoxiously loud car. It also has heated and cooled seats, which is really nice. The next car I get might have to have cooled seats (I already have heated) because swamp butt in the summer is annoying.

This is just a leisure car. Z does have a “beater” he uses to get to work regularly and for other things.


Sunday outfit: Everlane long sleeve tee, Limi Feu sweater, Grana jeans. In the photo with the car above I put on my Journal Standard jacket for going out.

I actually got dressed on both Saturday and Sunday this weekend! I haven’t done that in… I don’t know how long. That’s kinda sad to admit, but whatever. I’m making more of an effort now. We’ll see how long this lasts.


Uniqlo top, Rachel Comey pants.

This winter has been really weird. Whenever we get any sort of precipitation it’s been really warm. Today we had a ton of rain and it was 60F outside. It’s January! Normally all of that rain would be snow. I’m glad it’s not snow, but it’s kinda scary that it’s been all rain – like Winter is broken. Or you know, it’s called climate change and it really is a scary issue when you think about it and know that these conditions are not normal.

So I forgot to take a photo yesterday and I labeled today’s photo “monday”. That’s what kind of week it’s been so far for me. Yesterday I was distracted by the pretty necklace I got in the mail I’m wearing today. My friend Jenny, who lives on the other side of the US from me, always sends me the best jewelry and over half of my collection has been gifted to me by her. It’s become our thing now to buy jewelry for each other because we both have the same taste. A lot of the time we’ll buy two of the same item: one for each other and one for ourselves. This was my Christmas gift this year. I’ve been a bad, slacker friend because I’ve not sent out hers yet. Sorry Jenny! I’ll get on it soon!

Things are afoot at work. I’m doing a lot more of it now in a different area from where I was hired and it may move me into a whole new position in the company sooner than I thought. This is a good thing though. I’m also communicating with my boss a lot better and I think I shocked him today with my progress in understanding the work he’s given me. He wasn’t quite expecting me to be at this level yet, but I forged my way into it because I simply see it as being what I need to know in order to do this project the right way. There may be a lot of changes for me in the upcoming months.

Simple and fit


J Crew sweater, Grana jeans.

I’m not sure what the dark smudge is in the upper right part of the photo. I hope it’s not something wrong with the camera.

Today was one of those throw-on-whatever kinds of days. A simple outfit, sweater and jeans.

A coworker stopped me today and after complimenting my sweater said, “You look fit!” This was coming from a teeny tiny woman who is 3 inches shorter than me and weighs as much as I did in middle school. We then swapped weight training stories and I found out she used to have a solid six pack and played 5 sports. Her weight has yo-yo’d over time and she said seeing me motivated her to get back to it. Considering I’ve felt like I’ve been a bit off for the past couple months, this was refreshing to hear. Other than last Friday’s monsoon and coming home really late, I’ve been working out every Mon, Wed, Fri starting just after Christmas. Not being able to run still drives me nuts, but weight training has kept the Crazy under control. I have noticed I’ve gotten a little more fat in some areas I hoped to never see it on again because I’ve works so hard already to lose it, but there’s not much I can do about it now. I’ll have to wait it out with the boot and tendon rehab.

Tonight Z and I are going to watch Mary and the Witch’s Flower, which is the premiere film from the newly formed Studio Ponoc. It’s an animation studio and several animators there used to work at the world famous Studio Ghibli. Ghibli is where the two grandfathers of anime (Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata) work so animators splitting off from the main company and building their own little empire is really exciting in the animation world right now. The director for Mary also did The Secret World of Arrietty and based on the trailer, it looks and generally feels very much like a Ghibli film. I’m really excited to see it though because unlike Ghibli films, this one seems much more action centered. I love Ghibli films and own almost everything by Miyazaki-san, but they can be a bit heavy with the feels. That is part of what makes these films so good, but sometimes an action-packed ride is just as good and easier to take in on one viewing. There are two showings tonight and I’ve opted for the Japanese sub at the earlier time. The English dub has Cate Winslet and Jim Broadbent as part of the cast, so in time I’ll definitely watch the dub as well. I think the movie is only showing for a short run at limited theaters. I know that after tonight, only the dub version will be airing.