I’ve had a really bad couple of weeks. I’ve been physically ill to the point of being bed-ridden from sinusitis and then had an emotional and mental blow regarding and ongoing family matter. I am depressed and hate 99% of all human beings. I want nothing more than a mass genocide of all the stupid people on this planet, starting with the ones directly responsible for the state my family is in right now. Line them up at the firing range and make them apologize for their waste of space on this planet and use of human resources. My rage on this matter is white hot and I’ve been barely keeping it together.
I won’t go into details on the matter, but suffice to say the US justice system is broken and beyond repair. I have zero faith in anyone anymore. There is no power of the people when the people are mindless, worthless sheep. Those responsible for this mess are getting a lighter sentence than the innocent people deemed guilty – by bias – which isn’t allowed, but here we are. My family is still fighting, but this has crippled us to the point where my father said the only thing keeping him in this country are relatives. That means jack shit to anyone reading this, but to me – that’s fucking incredible and means he’s been emotionally and mentally destroyed by what’s happened. We all are.
I thought about deleting this blog because my depression has been so severe, but part of me knows I need some sort of outlet.
I wore the two new pairs of pants I got last week a lot. The first pair is from Won Hundred and is predominantly polyester. They are the cropped pants in the photos. I love them. They are comfortable and I wore them all weekend. They took the place of jeans for me. The material is soft and has a sheen so they look more charcoal grey than black. The weave is really nice and they don’t really feel like polyester pants at all. I am seriously glad I got them. The second pair are the Black Menace Pant by Rachel Comey and I’ve worn them twice. They are a viscose blend and feel more synthetic than the Won Hundred pant. They are long and shiny looking and seem like a much more stereotypical polyester pant than the cropped ones. They also wrinkle much more than expected, but I can live with that. I do like these pants as well (worn above/today). Both pairs fit really well into my wardrobe.
One thing I realized with the two latest pant additions was that I’m not afraid to buy synthetic materials if I know I’ll be using them a lot and already both pairs have seen repeated use. Both are wonderful warm weather pants to wear, which seems odd considering they are black and not cotton or linen. I prefer synthetics for warm weather because I feel they serve me better than cotton. A lot of people talk about how much better cotton “breathes”, well….. I think otherwise. In general, I’ve had much better experience with synthetics for breathability in clothing than cotton. Think about it – why are so many workout clothes made with tech wear, aka synthetics? Because it breathes and lets the air in while still providing a good barrier to the elements. I know that plenty of people will disagree with me and of course give the argument that cotton is better because of x, y, and z reasons, but I honestly don’t give two shits.
I know that synthetics work for me and I use them – regularly. Here’s a fun fact: I don’t own any cotton underwear. Ok, so that’s not entirely true – my underwear is maybe 3-5% cotton at most, but it is predominantly nylon with a little spanx. I tend to overheat a lot at night when I get warmed up and anything cotton on me ends up being a sweaty mess. That’s true for during the day too like if it’s really hot outside or if I’m super stressed about something and get the stress sweats. I stay dry much better in nylon than any other material.
Now that I have a ridiculous amount of pants, I feel like I can focus on tops because I’m realizing how much I’m lacking in that area. Shoes will probably be next, but I’ll get to that in a bit… I am now laughing at myself from how I was 3 years ago and KonMari’d my belongings. True, I got rid of things I didn’t like, but now I’m buying a lot more I love. I’m honing in more on what I want and yes, I want a lot of things. I’m nowhere near the minimalist I thought I would be and I’m ok with that. I like clothes. I like having more options than I need and I won’t feel bad about it.
The one time I wore jeans this weekend was to sit in the dirt in the yard and pull weeds. I thought about how jeans were made to be work pants originally and that’s what they were doing for me then – being clothes I wear when toiling and getting dirty. Now that I have a much better collection of pants to choose from, I can delegate jeans to the areas where they really prove their worth – yard work.