In favor of enough

fridaythursdaysaturday

The last photo was taken today. I put on the pants just for this photo and then took them off and put on the jeans I had been wearing beforehand and put my shoe/boot back on. I simply wanted to take a photo to show the pants I got from Uniqlo today before I wash them.

I also wanted to show the jacket I’m wearing as well. I’ve not worn this jacket in over a year (maybe even closer to two years), but I never got rid of it. For some reason, it escaped many of my KonMari purges since we’ve moved into this house. I’ve had this jacket for nearly 10 years. It’s from Old Navy and for many years I lived in it. It was the only in-between weather jacket I had that worked for spring/autumn weather. It was warm enough to wear on 50-ish days and provided just enough protection from light rain/drizzle despite being entirely cotton (canvas on the outside – not weather proof – flannel plaid inside). This jacket made sense for wearing today. It’s drizzling with a few heavy rain storms. Although the jacket is old and faded a little, it still works great and I do think it looks nice.

This jacket made me glad I didn’t purge it even though I’ve not worn it in a long time. As I drove to the mall I thought about other clothes I’d gotten rid of and somehow kinda wished I hadn’t. There was a big, black sweater I had and I still think about it. I’m really not sure why I got rid of it, but I know I was in the thick of the whole “less is more” minimalist mantra at the time. I’d read the KonMari book and we were getting ready to move and I was so proud of myself for giving away/donating/trashing so many bags of stuff we didn’t need… or did we?

Now, I really hate that “less is more” mantra. It pisses me off because I fell into it’s gimmicky trap. I got rid of things I still think about, but at the time convinced myself I could do without. I wasn’t really listening to myself – I was listening to how cool it sounded to say I could get rid of so much stuff. The reality is: less is less.

4 years ago I had 2 pairs of jeans and 1 pair of pants. Currently, I have

  • 2 pairs of jeans
  • 3 pairs of black pants
  • 2 pairs of navy pants
  • 1 pair of brown pants
  • and 2 pairs of denim pants.

Today I bought a pair of olive pants. And I still intend on buying more pants. Why?  My circumstances are a lot different now than they were 4 years ago. I’m in a job where I need to wear nicer clothes and having a variety to choose from helps me greatly. With my old job, I could wear whatever I wanted so I didn’t think about wearing more than what I had simply because I didn’t care about how I looked. Now I do care and now I want more options to choose from. It doesn’t mean I’m going to buy ALL THE PANTS, but simply enough pants to cover all seasons and allow me a variety for each.

That’s another thing I realized. I remember writing here how I wanted to have a small wardrobe that had pieces I could layer throughout the year. Um…. yeah, let’s face reality a bit. I live on the east coast and summers here get up to 100F and winters get down to -12F. I need a wardrobe big enough to accommodate those extremes. A few layers won’t cut it. I need clothes that are meant to be worn in extreme weather conditions. Sure those clothes may only get worn a few months out of the year, but they are worth it because they protect me and are necessary for this environment. Do I still have more clothes than I may actually need? Probably, but I’m tired of feeling like I shouldn’t have as much as I do. It’s like I’ve felt some sort of guilt over…. nothing. I do wear all of my clothes, so why should I feel bad for buying a little more I know I’ll add into the rotation? I don’t intend on buying clothes for the sake of buying clothes, I’m buying them because they fill a gap.

[This is really sounding like I’m writing all of this to justify today’s purchase and future purchases to myself – huh? So let’s just call it what it is – justification and writing therapy to get these thoughts out of my head. Here is the 4th wall moment. Now let’s continue….]

So, I bought a pair of pants today. I was thinking a lot about the Pas de Calais pants that are really expensive. I decided to look around at places where I’d bought clothes before and saw Uniqlo came out with a new kind of pant: a cotton/linen blend. They looked good online, but their sizing can be a bit weird for me so I drove out to the mall to try them on. They fit perfectly and the beige kind were opaque enough for me as well. Part of the reason why I don’t have light colored pants is because I wear black underwear 99.999% of the time. But the Uniqlo ones had the perfect amount of coverage and they are incredibly comfortable. I’d been looking for an in-between weather kind of pants and these fit the bill perfectly. I also like the length and I can roll them up when it gets warmer and make them look a little better with different shoe combinations. I was shocked at how much I really liked these pants. When I saw these in the olive color I knew I’d want them because in the back of my head I’ve been coveting a good pair of olive pants for at least 6 months now. I can wear these with plenty of shirts already in my wardrobe. I considered this purchase a major score for myself. I almost bought the beige ones as well to call it a day, but then I stopped and put them back.

I planned on buying the beige ones as a way of passing on the Pas de Calais pants.  However, I realized I do in fact want those Pas de Calais pants. I’m allowed to have pants that cost $29.90 and pants that cost $320.00 in my wardrobe. I found their online shop and they have them in beige. They look really nice and I don’t need yet another pair of black pants. They are expensive and if need be, I can return them. I haven’t decided when I’ll buy them, but I do plan on it. Maybe when the weather gets a little bit warmer (and to see if they go on sale anytime soon). Eventually, there will be yet another pair of pants in my collection and then I think I will have enough.

Moderation is key and always has been, even if it takes us a damn long time to get there. It’s not about buying too much or showing off how little we have. It’s all about having enough and my enough is going to be very different from everyone elses’ enough.