Auuuuugggghhh

You know that sound Charlie Brown makes, when he tries to kick the football and Lucy steals it away at the last second? He lets out a yell and you can tell it’s a mixture of frustration at what happened, but also knowing it was going to happen anyway? That’s been my week thus far. And it’s only Tuesday!

Tuesday

Sweater from Yesstyle, Grana jeans.

Boring outfit is boring – in photo. My boss actually complimented me on it and was shocked I was wearing jeans. I wondered what rock he’d been under.

I completely forgot to take my outfit photo yesterday. I’m still stressing out a little over the changes happening at work and yesterday I got home and immediately changed into workout clothes without thinking. I was halfway done with my workout when I remembered.

I’ve been having a lot of those, “wait…..what?” moments. This whole month I’ve been good about not spending any money (just a couple movie tickets and an affogato) and I kept saying to myself: Ok, don’t spend until February. Then I’ll look at my credit card balance and check if my predictions for discretionary spending were on target so I can set up a proper budget for shopping. And before I knew it, it’s almost February and I’ve not had two minutes to really think about spending because I’ve been so busy. Plus, I’ll need to reassess my expenses again because this month saw me being offered a 20% raise and new position. Wait… what?

I’ve been a nervous wreck the past week and a half because I knew this was coming. It’s not as if I wasn’t prepared for it, but A) this is a whole new set of responsibilities that I really need to step up my game for and B) my new numbers would affect my choice of benefits program now that I’m eligible and the deadline is February 1st – hurry the hell up, where is my paperwork, BOSS!? (No worries now, got it taken care of – finally.) My biggest worry currently is being properly trained. When I first started working for this company, I had someone sit with me and teach me everything. Now, I’m having to scramble and search for the information myself. I do have plenty of help from some people, but the main ones who could train me best are the busiest and already being pulled in 20 different directions. I’m trying to do what I can with what resources I know I have right now, but it’s still very piecemeal.

One of the directors told me she’s really glad I’m doing so well and I’m very much needed there. She said I’m a “go-getter” and I corrected her. I’m not a go-getter at all. There’s nothing I want to go get at the company and if it came down to that, I’d probably fail. However, I have a good work ethic and sense of responsibility. If I’m going to be paid well to do a job, I need to make sure I’m proving that it was worthwhile to put me in that position. That is what I’m afraid of most – not being able to prove that I’m worth what I’m being paid to do. I’ve worked at plenty of places where I’ve been severely underpaid and know that I should demand more for what I’m doing. Now, I’m in the opposite position of being given a lot more than I was expecting and it’s making me panic, wondering how I’ll get the information I need to do the job well. My new position is very similar to other ones I’ve done in the past. It’s essentially customer service work. However, before I was mostly working in retail. Now I’m working for a corporation where the “customer” is another company and losing one of them could mean losing tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars instead of just a couple hundred or a couple thousand. I understand that the amount of money I’m being paid correlates to the amount of responsibility I have to keep these customers happy because of how much they are spending with our company. But it’s all still very new to me and I think my little freak outs lately are keeping me centered and anxious to do as much as I can as quickly as I can.

I don’t even know if what I just wrote makes sense, but it’s cathartic to write it out. Z just asked if I want to play more Zelda and my attention span and focus for this post just disintegrated. When do I want to play Zelda? ALWAYS.

 

Eat the stuff

stuff

It’s incredibly nice outside today – 56F – so of course Z and I had to take out the Mustang. We drove to a little tourist trap of a town about 30 minutes away from our house. It’s a very cute little town, but parking is nigh impossible to find after a certain time (there were 3 spots left when we got there at 11:45 am) and the sidewalks are usually jam-packed with people.  We didn’t stop at the restaurant advertised in the photo, but I liked the sign.

I’m not sure if I’m fighting off something or if the stress of the past week is still weighing on me. I slept a lot last night, but still felt heavy and drained this morning. I almost fell asleep in the car ride to the town. We stopped at a food court plaza because Z needed brunch and I needed a pick-me-up.

affogatotots

I was going to get a latte, but when I saw they served affogato, I knew that would be it. Hardly any place serves affogato around here, so this is a treat and now knowing this is where I can get it – I’ll be back. The barista told me he makes a shake version with two shots of espresso, and a little milk. I’m sure that’s nice in the summertime, but I like getting scoops of the ice cream in one bite and then a bit of espresso the next. Coffee shakes can be had almost anywhere, affogato is rare at any coffee shop or ice cream parlor.

Z was tempted by the Breakfast Tots he found at a different food stall in the plaza. The tots are covered in two large pieces of pork roll, topped by two fried eggs, chili sauce, chives, and cheese. He said he was in trouble because he wanted the tots from one stand, Indian from another stand, and Peruvian from another stand. Suffice to say, we’ll be going back there several times. The hot chocolate barista got us as well. We were given samples of a dark chocolate drinking cocoa and it was amazing – not too sweet, not too bitter.

Uniqlo top, 45rpm jacket, Rachel Comey pants.

I look like quite the little old lady in the first photo. I didn’t even know Z took that until I took the photos off my camera. He asked to take my photo outside.

We ran a few more errands and then headed home. I’m quite tuckered out now. Walking on the cobblestone sidewalks in the tourist town was not easy and did a number on my back and functioning leg as it compensated a lot for all the wobbling I was doing on the boot. Time to chill out, and maybe play more Zelda…

Stress

Wednesday
Everlane sweater, Yohji Yamamoto pants.
Thursday
Everlane tee, Limi Feu sweater, Grana jeans.
Friday
Uniqlo flannel, Land’s End cardigan, Grana jeans.

This has been a week.

Wednesday was my 3 month review with my boss and we officially discussed my changing roles. Basically, his department is severely understaffed and he’s been nudging me (ok, more like throwing me in the deep end of a pool, which he finally admit to) to move into it as customer service support. To his credit, he asked me what I was interested in doing and was willing to listen to me. If I didn’t want it, he wouldn’t push any more and go hire someone. He’s totally fine with my staying in the admin role and only helping him out with one client. However, I do have a long history of customer service in my resume and know what he’s setting me up for. The only major hurdle for me is understanding the software program so I can get the answers I need in a more timely manner. I also knew going into this new role would mean a rather large pay raise. I admit I was much more interested in a different area of the company, however, I also recognize how much the company needed a customer service role right now and although it’s not my favorite area, I can do it.

We discussed my transition period and my receiving dedicated training and take on more clients – until we find my replacement for the admin role. After that I will go full time (I think the title would be Customer Liaison, but I’m not sure) into my new role and handle more accounts.

After that meeting I had some time to do work and we had another meeting with the client I’ve been working with over the past month.

Thursday I had a meeting with our marketing company. The woman I took over for in the admin role is on maternity leave, but her coming back now is a 50/50 coin toss as far as I’m concerned so I’m preparing myself for having to take over marketing as well for the time being. I spent the rest of the day Thursday looking through the software program and asking everyone in engineering about operations.

Today I was a little busy this morning but by noon I didn’t have much to do and the general stress of the week finally let go and suddenly was so drowsy I couldn’t stop yawning and had a terrible time staying awake.

I’ve been full on exhausted all week. I don’t sleep well during the work week because I have sleep anxiety. I must be in bed by a certain time because my mind then does a count down of how much time I have left before the alarm goes off and it sets a mini panic mode in me. So sleep during the week is generally bad and then I crash on Friday and Saturday nights. The added stress of having my review and knowing I’m transitioning into a role with many more responsibilities over the next couple months has wreaked havoc on me mentally. It’s not a bad thing, but more like stressful excitability.

I’m one of those people who always look for the end game and I’ve already been looking at the logistics of what the major problems areas are in the company that pertain to my role and how I can overcome them. To a degree, this may mean trying to work around/over someone who has been in the company for a very long time because to be frank about it: he’s fucking shit at his job and his duties are crucial to many areas of the company as a whole. Everyone complains about this guy and he’s been moved from one role to another just to get him out of the way and put him in an area where he’s the least destructive. Why not fire him? Well…. that’s a whole can of worms I can’t get into but let’s just say certain people are bound by familial connections and those connections demand this asshole be take care of.

Aside from this annoyingly huge obstacle, most everyone else I’ve worked with and will be working more closely with in the company has been beyond amazing. This is the most corporate company I’ve ever worked for and I wasn’t expecting much, but I’ve been bowled over by the amount of help and support I’ve received. It’s truly awe-inspiring that so many people will stop to answer my questions and never complain nor chide me or tell me to go get the answer elsewhere. I’ve never been in a work environment where everyone truly supports each other so much. I hate to use the term family because I’ve always found that to be cliche and ridiculous since not many people really talk to each other outside of work, but while in the office, there is a close-knit togetherness that is truly endearing.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I work for a medical component manufacturing company. The components we make are used in surgery for spine and joint support/correction. I mostly work in the office, but there is a factory connected to the business office and every employee is required to wear PPE (personal protective equipment): safety glasses and non-slip shoes. I have a pair of non-slip clogs I put on occasionally when I need to hand out paperwork to the people on the shop floor or find out a status of part production. I do take off my boot for the times I go out on the floor, but in general I hand off stuff to other people I know will go out there. Many of them don’t mind at all and know I’m trying to stay off my leg while I’m wearing the boot.

As my new role progresses, I might end up sharing office space with people on the shop floor since that’s where I need to find out the most information for the clients.

Car & still making an effort

So let’s get this out of the way. New car. There it is. It has 4 exhaust levels, meaning you can adjust how loud it is. Z usually keeps it in quiet mode while in the neighborhood because no one likes that neighbor with the obnoxiously loud car. It also has heated and cooled seats, which is really nice. The next car I get might have to have cooled seats (I already have heated) because swamp butt in the summer is annoying.

This is just a leisure car. Z does have a “beater” he uses to get to work regularly and for other things.

Sunday

Sunday outfit: Everlane long sleeve tee, Limi Feu sweater, Grana jeans. In the photo with the car above I put on my Journal Standard jacket for going out.

I actually got dressed on both Saturday and Sunday this weekend! I haven’t done that in… I don’t know how long. That’s kinda sad to admit, but whatever. I’m making more of an effort now. We’ll see how long this lasts.

monday

Uniqlo top, Rachel Comey pants.

This winter has been really weird. Whenever we get any sort of precipitation it’s been really warm. Today we had a ton of rain and it was 60F outside. It’s January! Normally all of that rain would be snow. I’m glad it’s not snow, but it’s kinda scary that it’s been all rain – like Winter is broken. Or you know, it’s called climate change and it really is a scary issue when you think about it and know that these conditions are not normal.

So I forgot to take a photo yesterday and I labeled today’s photo “monday”. That’s what kind of week it’s been so far for me. Yesterday I was distracted by the pretty necklace I got in the mail I’m wearing today. My friend Jenny, who lives on the other side of the US from me, always sends me the best jewelry and over half of my collection has been gifted to me by her. It’s become our thing now to buy jewelry for each other because we both have the same taste. A lot of the time we’ll buy two of the same item: one for each other and one for ourselves. This was my Christmas gift this year. I’ve been a bad, slacker friend because I’ve not sent out hers yet. Sorry Jenny! I’ll get on it soon!

Things are afoot at work. I’m doing a lot more of it now in a different area from where I was hired and it may move me into a whole new position in the company sooner than I thought. This is a good thing though. I’m also communicating with my boss a lot better and I think I shocked him today with my progress in understanding the work he’s given me. He wasn’t quite expecting me to be at this level yet, but I forged my way into it because I simply see it as being what I need to know in order to do this project the right way. There may be a lot of changes for me in the upcoming months.

Sweater secret

Limi frontLimi

This is my Limi Feu sweater and it has a secret. When I got it, there was a hole in it.

Limi back

hole
Can you see the hole? Or rather, can you tell where it’s been patched?

The hole is on the back of the sweater and it was small. It wasn’t in the listing when the seller posted it (it’s from a discounter site in Japan), but when I got it (gifted to me by Z for Christmas) it had a very heavy moth ball scent to it. It had clearly been sitting for a while and I’m guessing the hole was in fact from a moth and I doubt the seller even knew about it. My husband had no idea and when I told him about it today he was shocked. I noticed the hole when I opened the package on Christmas day, but didn’t say anything. I just thought, “I’ll have to patch that up.” Never did I think of returning it because I wanted to keep it and I love this sweater. Today, of course, Z got a little upset and kept saying sorry about the hole, but I assured him that no matter what I would’ve bought it even if he hadn’t. I didn’t want him to feel bad about it and it’s his upset reaction that made me wait even until now to say anything. If I’m not upset, then there’s no reason he should be. It’s not a big deal to me at all. I then explained to him how I fixed it. I even lay the sweater out flat and asked him if he could tell where it was. He said no, he didn’t see anything.

patch

To patch the hole I took some dark thread and super carefully sewed up ends of the hole together as best I could without severely pinching the fabric. The fabric is a wool and linen blend and it’s not a traditional knit, therefore trying to fix it like one would a knitted sweater is not an option. After carefully sewing a few parts of the hole to close shut, I took a piece of iron-on bonding tape and put that on the sweater and then a small piece of super thin lining fabric for bonding to the sweater. The result worked ten times better than expected. I did all of this before I ever washed the moth ball scent out of the sweater. I put the sweater in a laundry bag, put on delicate (cold water) cycle and used Woolite Dark. The smell came out and the patch job worked perfectly. I lay it out to dry and then used an iron on it to smooth it out.

Tags

Interestingly enough, the tag on the inside of the sweater in the above photo says: “Friction and repeated use may cause yarn breakage and surface damage. It is not repairable once it’s damaged. The fabric may pile up lint and fuzz on the surface. Please handle with care.” Translated: If you get a hole in this, you’re fucked!

Oh yeah? Well I don’t think so. I’ve worn the sweater a half dozen times already and my patch job is still working just fine.

This sweater is a used item and it’s a very delicate one. But, it’s not the of the world for these sorts of items if something happens to them. If there was a nasty stain on it, that would be a different story, but a tiny hole is easy to fix up for most fabrics, especially natural fiber ones.

 

Warning: second half of this post has an extreme amount of profanity. Seriously, if you get easily offended by any and ALL profanity, stop reading now.

outfit
Uniqlo flannel shirt, 45 rpm jacket, Uniqlo pants – in the car dealership bathroom

In other news, I spent 5 hours in a car dealership today, holding my tongue and mentally wanting to punch the shit out of the super annoying sales person who made awful jokes and clearly just thought that if she could get Z and I to laugh at her, she’d get the money out of us she wanted. Don’t think so BI-ATCH!

If there’s one thing Z knows – it’s cars. He’s a total car fan and knows how the pricing structure works for them and what’s part of a true cost for the car and what’s just a dealership bullshit cost. By the end of the day the sales rep did fuck us over – a teensy bit, but not nearly as much as she probably would’ve liked. We agreed on a price for the car, then the fucking cunt worked backwards to make the price we agreed upon, the end sales price after rebates, which then bumped up the true sales price of the car, which was NOT the agreed upon price. Z immediately caught it and said no, the price is AFTER rebates and she flat out said, “Then you’d be home by now” – meaning there would not have been a sale and she said there was no possible way to go lower because that’s the invoice price (which is a LIE – when they say you are already paying the “invoice price” that’s not entirely true – car companies give dealerships incentives so their invoice pricing is after the incentives and not the real invoice price of the car). I was ready to stand up and pummel the cunt right then and there for that. She then countered that he was already getting over $7k off the sticker price (irrelevant, you stupid bitch!), and he shook hands (also fucking irrelevant – a hand shake is a fucking posturing gesture and means nothing – the only thing that matters in the end is the signature on the line) on the price listed after the rebates because there was no talk of rebates before. She left us to talk and Z did say he should’ve thought of that, but that still doesn’t discount the fact that she flat out changed the price of the car that was agreed upon. Our paying the post rebates price still means we are paying for taxes and loan pricing for the cost before rebates. I was ready to walk out and I wanted to just to see the bitch’s angry face fall out of shock because she was already losing her composure by the second, but Z’s got a much softer temperament than I do. I’m more angry about it than him. It only upped the monthly cost by just over $10 and while he was thoroughly pissed that she finagled around him like that, he decided he wasn’t going to let it ruin the car for him. He gave her a dirty look and then said he’d agree to that cost and then turned away from her. She then barely managed to put up her chipper attitude again and said, “Normally I’d say let’s take photos…. but you don’t seem to want to…” Z and I just glared at her and I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her. He deadpan-face asked for the spare key she hadn’t given him yet.

In the end, he got the exact car he wanted with all the options he wanted for the price (range) he wanted, so he’s a happy camper. I’m still pissed a bit that she swindled us in the way she did, but if he’s happy then I need to get over it.

I don’t have photos of the car because it was nearly dark by the time we got home, but we are going for a ride tomorrow and I’ll take photos then of his new 2018 Ford Mustang GT.

As a general FYI about me: I FUCKING HATE SALES PEOPLE. 99% of them are annoying shit-cocks. Car sales people and realtors are THE WORST. I’m not like most gullible shoppers who go around browsing at things and then with just a smile and a few trendy key words will jump to buy whatever item a sales person has in front of me. I have a feeling most blogs I follow are the same way as me. We know the bullshit and can smell it from miles away. I hate going to malls and having 5 sales associates inside of two minutes ask me if they can help me at all. NO, LEAVE ME ALONE TO LOOK! I usually leave my sunglasses on in stores just for this reason. I know there is the rare gem of a SA, who understands this and I appreciate those people. Most of them are the ones who knowing look me directly in the eye and smile – maybe even give a nod – and then leave me be. But those SAs are very rare and nonexistent at car dealerships. Just sitting there today for so long listening to the other sales people schmoozing on the phone and in person with people made me want to throw up. I online shop as much as possible to bypass all the shit.

Ironically, my boss is the main sales associate and VP for our company. Sometimes on client calls I’ll cringe and want to shout at him: Shut up with the stupid flower shit-talk! No one cares! Get to the fucking point! The client he’s had me working with even called him out on it and said, “getting back to the point…”, which made me laugh. It’s always so cringey-bad when clients call sales rep out on the crap that doesn’t matter. Most of the time the flower-shit-speak doesn’t even make sense. It’s a bunch of trendy catch-all words meant to make the client feel like they are getting something good. If you actually listen to the words, you’ll know they mean nothing. It’s pure shit coming right out of the mouth instead of the ass.

Anyhow, we came home, had some scotch and dinner and now we are going to play Zelda. I told Z he owes me several hours of game play tonight for my behaving so well at the dealership. (the bitch seriously has no idea how lucky she is I kept my mouth shut…)