Unnecessary

outfit

Shirt: Banana Republic. Skirt: Yesstyle. House slippers: Muji.

I lost my job last week. I wasn’t sure if I would mention it here or not, but suddenly I’m finding it extremely difficult to want to do these photos, let alone even bother with a blog anymore.

It came as a shock to me and while I still like my old boss, he sucks at managing his company. My position was completely axed because he needs the money for another more necessary full time position. It is definitely one he’s needed for a while and it’s good that he’s finally getting his head on straight to do that, but I can’t help but be incredibly bitter that it’s at my expense.

I don’t hate him or anyone else there for what’s happened. I simply know for a fact that I could’ve been better utilized at that company and their failure (and partially mine) to make me more valuable lies on them. I did ask to do more there, but I was always told that it shouldn’t interfere with my duties. I wanted to do more work like what they were doing and I was allowed to learn about it plenty, but I was never really allowed or taken seriously about actively contributing.

What’s most frustrating right now is the fact that over the past several years I was given bonuses and rewards and always told WE NEED YOU by the management. Even in my last review 6 months ago I was told I was needed and necessary to helping the company running smoothly. Now, suddenly, that’s not the case. It is more crushing for me mentally and emotionally than anything else. All of a sudden I’m not needed and I’m not necessary. I know it was hard on my boss to let me go, but it doesn’t dismiss the fucking crushing depression I’m feeling now. In essence, I feel betrayed.

I will be continuing with this blog, but posts may be a bit sporadic while I deal with this.

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