Clothing items and styles I’ll (probably) never wear.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs about what people wear. People post their outfits of the day or just for the work week and then sometimes mention items they want to add to their wardrobes or have on their radars, etc….

Many of them include styles and items of clothing that look really nice, until I read what exactly it is and then recoil back in horror. I say that I’ll probably never wear them because either I’ve already worn the style years ago and didn’t like it or didn’t get it, which means I’ll not go down those avenues again, or it would have to take some serious crow-bar inducing coercion to make me consider wearing it.

For instance, jumpsuits have made a huge comeback over the past 5 or so years. Or maybe they were always fashionable and I just never noticed until all these bloggers started wearing them and posting them. They are cute, fashionable and make dressing easy because you don’t have to worry about what top to wear with what bottom. I wore jumpsuits when I was little. There’s something about them that I didn’t like. The reason why I’ll most likely never wear one of these things is for one simple reason only: I don’t want to have to get 80-90% naked to go to the bathroom! Maybe it’s just because I have a little bladder and drink lots of water, which means I have to pee a lot. But seriously peeps, when you have to take take off that much of your outfit to use the toilet…. no. Nope. Nopity-nope.

The same goes for body suits. I get that some have buttons, Velcro, or some sort of clasp at the bottom so  you can undo them to go to the bathroom, but there are lots of them that don’t. So that means if you have a skirt or some sort of trousers on, you have to take those off AND THEN take off the body suit to go to the bathroom. Or if the top part is big enough, then take all of the top off. FUCK THAT SHIT.  I used to wear body suits in high school because there was a body suit craze going on at the time and I remember thinking – WTF am I even doing in other to pee? I’ve put myself in a really annoying contraption that’s making everything about wearing clothing awful!  Even the ones that have a bottom clasp of sorts…. I don’t want to have to feel like I’m undoing a diaper to get my clothes off. At some point in the future I’ll probably be doing just that for old-age “accidents”, but for now – NO.

Overalls are another clothing item that’s seen a bit of a comeback. Overalls aren’t as bad as the two above, but I still don’t like having to take off that much clothing when I need to use the bathroom. Also, I’ve never found any that didn’t make me look like a disgruntled 12 year old or hillbilly. Something about the style just makes me back away. I’ve seen plenty of other people pull off the look of a white tee/tank with overalls and look fantastic, but I am simply not one of those people.

The biggest NOPE item of all for me are flip flops. I hate them. I know that millions of people wear them – some year round – but I can never wear this particular item ever again. I used to wear flip flops when I was younger and I remember the years spent wearing band-aids between my toes while breaking a new pair in. Those blisters hurt like a mofo. I also remember how my foot would always slide off them and hit the dirt or pavement, which I didn’t like. If my feet got sweaty, which they do A LOT, then I’d be sliding around in them even more and feel utterly gross and uncomfortable. The worst part though is the noise. It’s bad enough when I see people dragging their feet around making that annoying scuffing sound with slides or even sneakers, but flip flops are their own brand of one-person-annoying-as-all-fuck-band. I’m not keen on the sound heels make either, but it’s not nearly as bad as flip flops. And you know when someone has sweaty feet when you hear them slapping around with that suction squeak-thomp added in the mix. I’ve also read about how bad they are for people’s feet in general because of the awkward way you have to use your foot in order to keep it in place. People wear flip flops in my office all the time during the summer. I’m surrounded by an army of slapping bands. It’s awful. I hate it. But I know that this is a war I’m never, ever winning, so my poor ear drums and nausea are held in check.

There’s also a way of styling clothes that I’ve seen lots of people wear and has me scratching my head about. It’s not that the styling is bad. In fact, most times it looks great… on other people. Meaning not me.

The biggest weird one in way of style I see is when people wear trousers or jeans with sweaters and… sandals or flip flops. Are their feet that hot? If I have on a sweater that means I’m cold and if I’m cold I want most of my body to be covered, especially my feet. I get that some people are totally fine with baring their feet and they probably have much better circulation than I do, but it still looks awkward to me.

In the same vein, people who don’t wear socks or wear open-toed booties/mules in winter. I live on the east coast of the US, which  means Winter. My feet get cold as well as my ankles. I’m not entirely against baring ankles if I know I’ll be going to an office or building where there will be adequate heat, but some styles show people totally babushka’d up in a wool turtleneck sweater, woolen trousers, high-collared woolen coat of some sort, a scarf, hat and then bare ankles and tiny little heeled shoes that barely do anything for the foot than lift it off the ground. Literally 60% of the foot and ankle are exposed to the cold. I feel pity and want to immediately take the person to the closest store to buy them socks. Again, I don’t have anything against the style because some people pull it off smashingly. But I know that’s simply not a look I can do nor want to do because keeping my footsies toasty is key to me being a tolerable human being in winter.

A style I’ve seen in dresses that I think is beautiful, but have never managed to make work for me is this:

I don’t know what style of dress to call this, but basically it’s a very open one with very little structure. I love this style, but I’ve never been able to make it work for me. Any time I’ve tried wearing a dress like this I just look like I’ve got on a fancy potato sack. I’m somewhat average-short (5’5″) so certain styles that tall women wear make me look like a child due to the proportions. That’s what happens when I wear something like the above style. I’d like to say that out of everything else mentioned in this post, the above style might be something I could wear. If I ever happen to find the one unicorn dress of this style that works for me.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’m sure there’s others. I hope that if anyone reads this to not be offended, but know that these are personal preferences. But I might still cringe if you walk past with your sweaty flip-flopping feet.


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